Excerpt from The Healthy Cookie: Unbaked

Taking My Own Advice

Written November 17, 2006

I worry that maybe all this is for nothing. I get frustrated that I am working my ass of to get well and making many sacrifices in the process and still have a day here and there where I feel like crap.

For the first time, in the eight or nine weeks I have been here, I just kind of wanted to be back at home; home with my family, with my bed, with my friends, with my familiar normal life. I was feeling overwhelmed by all this focus on healing and by the idea that I no longer have any idea what my familiar normal life is anymore… Getting stuck full of needles every day, having to watch every thing I put in my mouth, ensuring that I drink enough water, get enough sleep, drink my Chinese Tea- sometimes it just feels like I am being crushed by the weight of my own dedication to wellness. Sometimes I feel exhausted by it all. I am putting in far too much overtime at this full time job of healing and I need a vacation…

Today I found myself coming home from Dr. Ha’s clinic, putting my pajamas back on and getting in to bed at 1:30 in the afternoon. I closed my eyes for about fifteen minutes. Then it hit me.

What was I doing? Why should I suddenly give in as soon as it gets tough? It has been easy for me so far. Now when it gets a little challenging, when I feel sad, a little homesick, when I have a stomachache, I get back into bed? That is weakness. If I were tired, it would be sensible, but I wasn’t tired. I just didn’t want to deal with it. And avoidance only makes things worse. We can’t heal something if we don’t touch it.

So I made the decision, the choice, excuse free, that I needed to take my own advice. It wasn’t easy but if we were never challenged sometimes, how would we ever move forward?

I got out of bed. I had a cup of fresh ginger tea, two glasses of water, put on my running shoes, grabbed my i-Pod and headed out for a walk. A leisurely walk with the sun on my face and smiles from the people I passed along the way. I was sad for the first half of my walk. I just felt sad and a little teary and really just wanted to turn back. Then, I was stopped by a man named Brian. He called me over and introduced himself and pointed out over the ocean. There, before us, were about eight dolphins playing in the water….

It is so easy to become overwhelmed by our own drama. But these simple things, the simple act of moving our body a little, taking a few deep breaths, being a little easier on ourselves, providing the things that give us comfort, they do make all the difference…

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