Passover is a Jewish holiday that extends for eight days, requiring observers to avoid leavened bread. That’s the basic rule. No problem. I don’t remember the last time I ate leavened bread. If that was all that is required for an UnDiet Passover, I’d be fine.
Beyond this, the rules get a little fuzzy. You could join ten different families for Passover on the same street and have ten different experiences of what Passover is. Even to this Hebrew-school-educated nutritionist, it gets confusing.
For example: wheat, barley, rye, spelt and oats are forbidden, unless those foods are labeled “kosher for Passover.” Matzoh, the primary symbolic ‘food’ of Passover, is made most often with wheat, barley, rye, spelt or oats. Confusing, and you can throw your gluten-free dreams out the window. Food can get the stamp of approval if rabbis have determined that foods containing these grains are cooked in 18 minutes or less – after which time – the natural leavening in the grains would cause foods to rise.
Typically, “Kosher for Passover foods” are those made specifically for the holiday under the supervision of a rabbi. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a nutritionist rabbi, and much of the kosher foods are loaded with hydrogenated and modified vegetable oils, monosodium glutamate, refined flours, and chemical preservatives.
Rice, millet, corn, beans, and lentils are additional foods that are usually forbidden during Passover. These are forbidden as they can be ground up and cooked like flour and therefore, can be mixed into stuff and baked and rise, therefore falling into the leavened bread category.
Quinoa is the saving grace of those trying to observe both gluten-free health and Passover.
I respect those who choose to follow the traditions of their culture, combining those with the traditions of their families.
The question I have is how a holiday that was intended to celebrate the freeing of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt, evolved into a holiday filled with heavily processed ten-pound matzoh bagels, kosher for Passover toothpaste and chewing gum, cakes that use a dozen eggs, the most constipating food combinations there ever were, ridiculously sweet bad wine, and the swapping of day-to-day dishes for disposables for eight days to avoid contamination (some people do have a second set of real dishes for this holiday).
Free Yourself From The Constipation Nightmare
And just as the Jews were freed from Egypt, you too can be freed from hours spent sitting on the loo, bunged up from the overindulgence of the previous nights’ Passover feast or the morning treat of fried matzoh. Keep the water and veggie game high, the matzoh meal containing foods to a minimum, and you should be good to go… literally.
How To Avoid Constipation During Passover
Drink lots of water throughout the day.
Minimize the matzoh intake. Even the gluten-free options are fiber-free starch parties.
Say no to matzoh bagels. A week without bagels — you can do it.
Eat lots of vegetables. And then eat more. Raw, steamed, baked, or blended.
Reduce/eliminate sugar. Really, though, what is with those creepy jelly ‘citrus’ slices?
Avoid overeating. This is a tricky one, but pace yourself. The amount of food served as a Passover dinner is often the equivalent of three meals.
Skip the sugar-rich Manischewitz wine. Have some fizzy water and grape juice between glasses of normal adult wine, or skip the wine altogether.
Drink even more water. Worth saying twice.
Up your smoothie game. A great way to get in loads of fiber and water, and it will be a refreshing breakfast option to keep you free from the aforementioned bagels.
The traditions have evolved, and some of these may not be working. I’m pretty sure this was not how people celebrated this holiday five hundred years ago, let alone fifty years ago.
What if “the way it’s always been done”, or the ways our families celebrate it, just doesn’t work for our own personal values and philosophies? Then what do we do?
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